Chuck Norris

Thanks to Lee McDerment and Hart Wilkie, I got on a Chuck Norris kick today. Here are some of my favorite Chuck Norris facts:

  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  • Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  • Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  • Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

What is the church?

The church is this absolutely beautiful thing that scripture describes as the Bride of Christ. She is believers UNITED to form a body that Jesus is the head of. She is an expression of love to our communities. She is the hope of the world.

Ephesians5:25-27  25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

The church is something as a believer to be committed to. She is to be served, protected and loved, yet I speak to believers each week that mistreat and disrespect her.

In my heart and my soul this is what I believe she is not. She is not a whore that you use to make you feel good and then toss her to the side. She is not a social club that you use to network. She is not a beach home that you should come to when it’s convenient. She is not a shopping mall that gets to crowded then you leave. She is not someone to have a casual relationship with.

This is why I get so jacked up about Newcomers at Lifepoint. God has a church that he wants you plugged into (you are a part of the body and body parts die when they are not plugged in) and I am passionate about helping people find that place. If it’s not our church, that’s cool but it’s somewhere and you need to find it quickly.

Scripture also says this:

Revelations 19:7-8 7 Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb,
and his bride has prepared herself. 8 She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.” For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people.

It’s is our responsibility to present his bride spotless and prepared, so be very careful how you approach the church, how you talk about her and how you treat her. She is a VIP and she is THE BRIDE of JESUS.