I have not done so well with the blogging thing so far. It’s like the Apostle Paul said, “I do the things that I don’t want to and don’t do the things that I do want to” or something like that.
The last two weeks have been and blessing and a curse. God has blessed us with a home in Wilmington and some great new neighbors but we have had to fix the place up. Which is both fun and exhausting and has exposed one of my weeknesses once again. I am a project oriented person and once the target has be set in place, I lock on and go full speed ahead toward the goal. The only problem is that I sometimes put blinders on and get to focused on a goal and forget the big picture and sometimes even the goal can be a distraction or discouragement when it is huge. So, I have this long list of things to do that only seems to get longer and then unexpected things happen that push you over the edge and then you refocus, which is what I am doing this morning.
Over the last few days I have felt tired, frustrated and a little overwhelmed. As I looked at my to do list and added the new things and then rolled all the uncompleted things and then tried to catch up on the “Important” things and then tried to figure out why my wife’s van picked this week to break and then how do I juggle all the things that I need to right now and then….
That’s where it had to stop. That’s where I end up every time I try to do things myself. I end up tired, frustrated, discouraged. That is not the life that God calls us to lead, but in default mode, that is where I end up. So this morning God centered be back up. As I read Psalm 46 these words were comforting: “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear, even if earthquakes come and the mountains tremble as the waters surge!”
God is so much bigger than the little world I live in. I worry about some of the most trival things and he can handle things that are so much bigger. I don’t have any earthquakes going on, no mountains are crumbling just a few clouds (not even the dark clouds, just clouds).
So, my prayer for this week is that God would use me for whatever he chooses, that I would be available and ready, that he would grow me as a husband, as a dad, as a servant, as a neighbor, as His child and that I would be delivered from charging out on projects with him in front of me.